


"And that's exactly why I'm here for you, Mondo..." // An IshiMondo Comfort Fic

by Kuhwouyeii



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Caring Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Aid, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecurity, M/M, Men Crying, Mutual Pining, Naked Cuddling, Panic Attacks, Sad Owada Mondo, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts, Tickle Fights, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Triggers, Unresolved Emotional Tension, its actually not that extreme tbh, probably out of character, self-projecting time lol, well not really (just shirtless lol)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27777145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuhwouyeii/pseuds/Kuhwouyeii
Summary: Mondo got into a fist fight whilst protecting his classmate and trainee Chihiro from a group of bullies which left him with bruises and scars all over his body. Meanwhile, Kiyotaka was too busy to notice the commotion going on around the hallway but then, he sees Mondo and takes him to the clinic to get aided. Well, that particular incident happened months ago so Mondo’s wounds should’ve fully healed by now, right? But that wasn’t the case… During the present, Kiyotaka visits Mondo to check on him to ask why he’d been absent for the last 2 days. He looked really sick so Kiyotaka brought him some food and water. When classes were dismissed, he checked on him again and happened to catch a glimpse of Mondo’s bruises and seemed to notice that Mondo was hiding something. Those said bruises that he got from the incident with Chihiro, were just starting to get worse. Kiyotaka had a sneaking suspicion that he got into another fight, but little does he know that it is way more than just that. This piqued his curiosity, and so, he took some time to reflect before knocking on Mondo’s door to ask him so he’d find out……
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Oowada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 85





	1. A flashback from past occurrences.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is very IshiMondo-centric what do you expect? lol Also, Taka comforts Mondo in this one because soft Mondo makes me go brrrrrrrr.
> 
> Btw Chihiro has they/them pronouns so ur welcome uwu
> 
> Text Legend:  
> Plain = Narration  
> Bold = Character’s Dialogue (Quoted)  
> Italics = Character’s Inner Dialogue (Only Mondo & Kiyotaka)  
> • • • = Time Skip
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Vivid Descriptions of Panic Attacks  
> Depictions of Starvation  
> Self-Hatred  
> Self-Harm  
> Suicidal Thoughts/Suicide Ideation  
> Unresolved Emotional Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It only took Mondo a few glances here and there and at the moment he saw a cornered Chihiro surrounded by the group of boys who loved to gang up on them, it was already instinct for him to intervene.

Mondo Oowada, despite possessing the title ‘Ultimate Biker Gang Leader’, was the kind of person to be protective of his dearest friends and classmates. One time during lunch break, Mondo’s fellow classmate and trainee Chihiro was heading to their locker to gather all of their books and notebooks for the next set of classes.

As soon as Chihiro was on their way, they accidentally bumped into a group of boys. The same group of boys who enjoyed tormenting them for acting so frail. Mondo just got out of the school cafeteria on his way towards his classroom just to show up a little earlier than usual; something his best bro Kiyotaka taught him to keep up as a habit since he wanted to show Mondo that punctuality was everything.

Mondo overheard a few voices yelling and laughing close by and thinks to himself, _Man, what the hell’s going on in there? What’s so goddamn funny?_ It only took him a few glances here and there and at the moment he saw a cornered Chihiro surrounded by the group of boys who loved to gang up on him, it was already instinct for him to intervene.

“ **HEY, YA BASTARDS! Who the fuck do ya think ya assholes are!? D’ya think y’all can just do jackshit to anyone whenever ya want? How ‘boutcha try that on me!”**

After cracking a few knuckles and clenching his fists, he started charging at the group with full force and no remorse. It didn’t take too long for him to take all the bullies down. But unfortunately, he ended up getting a ton of bruises and scars, mostly on his face. Chihiro was right next to the scene watching the entire time, completely horrified but completely unharmed. They earned a sigh of relief from the gang leader.

**“Hey, thanks for saving me back there, Mondo. I should seriously amp up my boldness a lot more if I needed to protect myself. That way, you don’t have to get hurt anymore.”** Chihiro thanked him with their usual sugary sweet tone.

Mondo then replied, **“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Chi. We can start planning our next training session uh…, maybe later? And besides, I gotta teach those motherfuckers a lesson. They can’t keep treatin’ ya like this y’know?”**

The school bell rang. It was now time for the next class to begin. Kiyotaka looked over at his wristwatch. _Hmm… 1 PM. Time to finally take the physics quiz I’ve studied so hard for._ Just as he continued walking, what he saw right in front of him was an injured and bloody-faced Mondo.

**“Mondo? B-Bro? Wh-What is the meaning of this!? What happened to you!?”** Kiyotaka freaked out, his tone became more erratic in seconds.

**“Jesus Christ, calm yourself Panic Prince. It ain’t a big deal. Some assholes ganged up on Chi over here and I had to stop ‘em… Oh, and ‘bout the quiz, I can still take it. Not like I’m *that* hurt or an’thi-** Mondo gets cut off by Kiyotaka.

**“What!? NO! You can’t! We need to take you to the nurse’s office immediately. You should at least have your wounds treated properly first. I’ll ask Miss Yukizome if we can excuse ourselves, meanwhile you and Chihiro go see if Mikan’s available, alright?”**

_• • •_

Mikan’s treatments didn’t take too long, only a couple of minutes which was good. That meant Mondo, Kiyotaka, and Chihiro still had plenty of time to answer the quiz a little late without any hassle whatsoever. Oh, and they also got their tests results the next day and surprisingly enough, everyone’s scores were high.


	2. I'll lend you a helping hand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hall monitor looked at the gang leader, slightly annoyed as to why he was dressed so sloppily. “Mondo, it’s almost 8 AM. Why on earth are you still- Wait, you’re heating up…” Kiyotaka placed his palm on Mondo’s forehead. 
> 
> “Mondo, you were sick!? Why didn’t you tell me?” 
> 
> “Relax, Bro. S’ not a big deal. Jus’ some tiny fever can’t hurt me. Also, aren’t ya gonna be late fer class?” 
> 
> “That… does not matter right now, I’ll be back in a second. Just stay in your room, okay?”

In case you’re wondering, what you read was just a sequence of events that occurred way back in the past, roughly 3 months ago. Now then, let’s dive ourselves into the present setting.

Today was Thursday and the school day had just come to an end. Kiyotaka was currently laying down on his bed after hours of reading and studying. He also kept thinking about why Mondo had been absent for 2 days now.

It’s been a pretty busy week. The amount of workload was starting to get heavier, schedules were beginning to grow tighter, which was why him and Mondo aren’t able to interact as frequently as they did before. The problem is, Mondo had already been absent for quite a while now, but why?

He decides to shake off the thought for now and get some rest. He needs plenty of energy for tomorrow’s academic obstacles, after all. Kiyotaka looked over at the alarm clock by his neatly organized nightstand.

11:30 PM.

_Wow, I should definitely be sleeping right now. I’ll just visit Mondo tomorrow…_

Mondo on the other hand, was just staring blankly at the ceiling after tossing and turning on his bed, barely able to get even a wink of sleep. He’s been studying in Hope’s Peak Academy for quite some time now but he still tends to question often why he came to study here in the first place.

He was referred to as the ‘Ultimate Biker Gang Leader’ and he hated that title so much. It just kept reminding him of his traumatic past, and how much it haunts him whenever someone would bring it up, particularly when it’s about his abusive home life. His role as a gang leader is quite a tough job, especially when he has to fulfill the _man’s promises_ he made with his brother, Daiya Oowada before he died.

He also constantly thought about his ambitions for college, to support his gang members in any way he can and better himself. _Goddammit, why can’t they just make me the Ultimate Carpenter or something? I just wanna start pursuing my own dreams and build homes for my friends and my gang…_

Mondo was also feeling really feverish, possibly due to all the stress he was handling lately. His lack of energy to do anything at all wasn’t helping either. He swore he could feel the back of his head throbbing in pain as he mumbled to himself.

**“Fuck… How long is this shit gonna last?”** Although he was feeling horrible, his tired body eventually succumbed into a nice and peaceful slumber.

• • •

The next morning seemed pretty normal for Kiyotaka. He did his usual morning routine. He showered for 15 minutes, brushed his teeth, and dressed himself up in his complete school uniform before properly leaving his dorm room. He sees Makoto close by and greets him cheerfully.

**“Greetings, Makoto. I see you’re off early as well.”**

**“Oh, good morning Taka. Have you seen Mondo anywhere? He’s gonna be absent for 3 days now,”** Makoto asked with concern.

**“Apparently, I haven’t since I am quite busy. I’ll go see if he’s in his room. Oh, and can you make sure to gather everyone to class before the homeroom teacher arrives as a favor for me? Thanks.”**

**“Of course, no worries Ta-……ka…?”** Kiyotaka already disappeared out of Makoto’s sight.

Man, for someone who hates seeing other students run in the halls, he sure is fast. And is always in a rush.

Kiyotaka sees the door labeled ‘Mondo Oowada’ and gave it a knock 3 times.

**“Hello? Mondo, are you in there? It’s me, Taka. Are you going to come out?”**

No response… After a few seconds, he makes a second attempt and knocked once more.

“ **Hey, Bro? I think your door’s locked so I can’t ge-**

The doorknob began to turn, and the door opened revealing Mondo who looked really sleep-deprived and exhausted. The hall monitor looked at the gang leader, slightly annoyed as to why he was dressed so sloppily.

**“Mondo, it’s almost 8 AM. Why on earth are you still- Wait, you’re heating up…”** Kiyotaka placed his palm on Mondo’s forehead.

**“Mondo, you were sick!? Why didn’t you tell me?”**

**“Relax, Bro. S’ not a big deal. Jus’ some tiny fever can’t hurt me. Also, aren’t ya gonna be late fer class?”**

**“That… does not matter right now, I’ll be back in a second. Just stay in your room, okay?”**

It’s been a LONG time since Kiyotaka skipped a class, and all of his reasons for doing so were pretty understandable. He just needed to skip this one to check on Mondo and ensure he was in good condition. Mondo went back to lay down on his bed because, what the hell could standing do to stop his headache anyway?

After a few minutes which felt like hours of waiting, the hall monitor came back with a plate full of food, a glass of water, along with a paracetamol he got from Seiko’s lab.

**“Here you go, Bro. I got some pesto with garlic bread from the cafeteria so be sure to eat up. I hope this makes you feel better.”** Kiyotaka playfully patted Mondo on his back as he was eating. It’s as if he was being treated like a cute little puppy. He blushed lightly, all flustered from the sudden kind act.

**“Well, that about does it. I have to get going for now so, bye. I’ll see you later once all classes are dismissed. Oh! And don’t forget to take the pill before going back to sleep, okay?”** Kiyotaka reminded him before leaving the room.

**“Got it. Ya don’t gotta worry so much fer me man. Just chill fer a bit will ya?”** The door now closed, and Mondo took a few deep breaths to regain his senses.

After Mondo ate everything that was on his plate along with the pill, his body slowly fell into a food coma and he let himself rest for a bit.

• • •

He eventually woke up at about 3 PM, an hour before classes dismiss and boy was he hungry. He grabs a few granola bars he would keep in a jar. Not necessarily the healthiest snack ever but he didn’t feel like going to the school cafeteria during class hours. He proceeds to check his phone and receives a few notifications.

**“Huh? What’s this?**

** Leon **

9:00 AM

Leon: yo buddy, i gotcha some math notes so u wouldn’t miss out

Leon: _mathshit-1.jpg_

Leon: _mathshit-2.jpg_

** Chihiro **

1:00 PM

Chihiro: hey mondo, i heard u were sick so i hope ur feeling better when u see this

Chihiro: btw, heres some of the latest announcements (＾ω＾)

Chihiro: _ANNOUNCEMENTS-EKSDEE.docx_

** Hina **

1:30 PM

Hina: Hey mondo!! ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/ we have this group project for literature, me and sakura still need 1 more member. Wanna join us?

Just Now

Sure, sounds good! hmu when ya need sumn from me d(>_･ ) :Mondo

Mondo stared at the screen with glee. _It’s about fuckin’ time I start doing some bullshit._

He thanked his classmates for checking on him before placing a notebook on his desk along with a pen so he could begin jotting down some notes. But before that, he headed to the bathroom to shower for a bit since he felt sweaty and gross from the fever he had hours ago.

Once he was finished, he took off his jacket, leaving him in his white tank top and baggy pants. He switched on the air conditioners to feel more refreshed. Moments later, he casually started vibing while doing his tasks. Definitely a thing everyone does, right?

Just as he was about to DM Hina and Sakura about the new literature group project, he heard a knock on his door. **“It’s unlocked, come in.”** It was just Kiyotaka so, nothing really surprising there.

**“Good afternoon Bro, I brought you some school notes. How are you feeling? Better?”**

**“Just ate a few snacks and took a quick shower, so yeah, definitely feelin’ better…”**

Kiyotaka looked over at what Mondo was currently doing. **“I’m glad you’re already starting on your schoolwork. You should totally keep it up. A hard worker should never back down on their duties!”** , he said with a very enthusiastic tone.

**“Jeez, ya always say the cheesiest shit ever, y’know? But I can’t really complain. I’m mostly doin’ this ‘cuz you’ve been supporting me so much.”**

**“Hahahaha, anything to lend a helping hand, Bro.”**


	3. I'm begging you to reach out to me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mondo panicked, screaming internally. He snatched his ‘Crazy Diamonds’ jacket from the coat rack next to him and then he started hastily putting it on. 
> 
> “O-Oh! Y-yeah, well a-about these? Uhh… th-these’re nothin’ too.” He stammered, trying to avoid eye contact with the other. Goddammit, Mondo… That lie was fucking terrible!

A few hours pass as they both simply rambled on about how their days went. Just as their laughter died down, Kiyotaka laid his head on Mondo’s bed and watched him do his work from behind. His eyes were doting on his physique until he notices a few dark spots on the gang leader’s right cheek while he was writing. _Those spots… they look a little- Wait, are those bruises!?_

Kiyotaka’s eyes instantly went wide open. Luckily, he was able to keep his mouth shut in order to not startle the other. _But this is all so sudden I don’t think I understand! ……Alright Taka, just take a few deep breaths so you can both talk this through._ Kiyotaka calmed himself down for a minute or two before asking Mondo a quick question, simple enough to be answered with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.

**“Hey M-Mondo?”**

**“Yeah Taka, ya need sum’n?”**

**“Oh n-not really, it’s just that I’ve noticed you uh…… have a few bruises on your cheek and well… Did you get into another fight without my knowledge?”**

_Damn. I’m busted. Now that Bro’s seen my bruises, how the hell is he gonna react if he finds out I’ve been doing this shit to myself!? I didn’t get into a fight, I’m honest about that but… Y’know what? I’m just gonna rub it off like it’s nothing._ **“Oh, this? Nah, this shit’s nothin’**. **I didn’t get into a fight and that’s the truth.”** , Mondo chuckled for a bit.

**“Oh, well that’s great but, since I’ve noticed, I can now see more on both of your arms as well.”**

Mondo panicked, screaming internally. He snatched his ‘Crazy Diamonds’ jacket from the coat rack next to him and then he started hastily putting it on.

**“O-Oh! Y-yeah, well a-about these? Uhh… th-these’re nothin’ too.”** He stammered, trying to avoid eye contact with the other. _Goddammit, Mondo… That lie was fucking terrible!_

**“M-Mondo, y-you never wear your jacket indoors. Are you sure I can simply call it…… _‘nothing’_?”**

**“I-I’m tellin’ ya, you shouldn’t be worrying too much ‘bout me, Taka. P-Plus, I’m assumin’ yer busy too so, ya should prolly head back to yer room and do yer business.”**

**“Oh…, y-you’re right. I should definitely head to my room for now, see you later, Bro.”**

**“Y-yeah uh…. S-see ya, Bro…”**

**“……”**

**“……”**

**“And hey…, if you’re struggling with anything personal, please. Do not hesitate to reach out to anyone, especially to me. My heart is always open, okay?”** Kiyotaka smiled at himself sadly as he left before closing Mondo’s door shut.

Mondo sighed and began to mumble angrily to himself. **“Jesus, yer such a fuckin’ coward, ya can’t even open up to yer soul bro.”**

The rest of it was just inaudible gibberish but Mondo was pretty damn sure about one thing. It’s that he was nothing more than just a pathetic coward, only capable of showing resentment towards his loved ones and hurting them in the process. At least, that’s just what his brain was telling him.

His mood was now ruined and he didn’t feel like studying or doing anything for tonight. He turned off his desk lamp so he could start grooming himself before heading to bed, ending the day with a bad note in mind.

As for Kiyotaka, well… he’s studying, sort of?

Actually, no.

He literally couldn’t focus at all. His mind was WAY too busy overthinking if Mondo lied to him or not. _Did Mondo actually get into a fight? He keeps telling me it’s the truth but, could he be lying to me? I don’t even know anymore… I don’t want to believe someone as kind as Mondo would ever lie about something like that but, he really leaves me no choice._

Kiyotaka sighed, **"Perhaps a little heart-to-heart conversation should be enough. That’s what friends normally do, right? Just talk things out and be sure to accompany him along the way…”** He said to himself before he took off the top half of his uniform.

He was never really the type to skip solo study sessions, but his lack of focus and concentration wasn’t making this any better. It was getting late, so he simply let both his body and mind to get some rest. _Perhaps Mondo will be fine with telling me once both our heads are refreshed._

• • •

Another night passed, and today was Saturday so nobody needed to worry about waking up late. Ironically, Kiyotaka still woke up at the same time as per usual, 6:30 AM. I guess you could say its normal for him at this point.

He did his daily routine much like every school day. But this time, he did everything at a slightly slower pace, just so whatever he was doing felt a lot more meditative and calming.

Kiyotaka yawned, **“Something feels… a little amiss.”** _Oh right, I haven’t talked to Mondo yet… That can wait, it’s still too early. I should start working on my projects first._

• • •

Mondo woke up at around 9 AM feeling like absolute shit. Not because he had caught another fever or anything, he just didn’t feel like waking up at all. He got flashbacks of the events that took place last night. _That happened…? Well fuck… Guess I’ll just have to go through the day thinking non-stop about that._

Mondo took a shower before eating breakfast. But this time, his paranoid ass would triple check that he was wearing his jacket at ALL times. He planned to go out less just so he more likely won’t get interrogated by Kiyotaka. As much as he does care about him, he hates how overbearing and overprotective he can be sometimes.


	4. Shall I instigate all my interrogations?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if Kiyotaka was completely uninvited, he had to prevent him from hiding all of this any longer. The hall monitor’s eyebrows furrowed and he started giving him a worried but sterner glare this time. 
> 
> “Mondo…, can we talk, please?”

Kiyotaka stared at his watch. _It’s almost 10 AM. He should be awake by now, so I better take my leave._ He ran a hand through his scalp, trying to comb his hair. He took a deep breath and started walking slowly to Mondo’s room. The door was closed, just as he suspected. But regardless, he gave it a knock 3 times.

**“Mondo......? It’s me, Taka.”**

His tone seemed a lot more mellow than usual. Perhaps he wanted to sound less authoritative towards him, given the circumstance and all.

On the other side was Mondo on his bed, all curled up in a ball. His body flinched when he heard the knocking combined with Kiyotaka’s voice.

_SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! HE’S HERE! What the fuck am I supposed to do!? Ignore him ‘til he gives up……? Nah, that’d be too rude. Plus, he might just start questioning me more when the time comes._

***sigh* “C-Coming!”** He opens the door to see Kiyotaka who smiled sweetly in front in him. He was currently only wearing his white button-up dress shirt, white pants and black boots from his regular school uniform.

**“Good morning, Mondo. How are you doing today?”**

**“O-oh, hey man! Didn’t expect ya to c’mere and see me…”**

**“Do you not mind if I get in? I just want to check on you. It’s also rather strange seeing you with a jacket on at a time like this. Especially when the weather is so hot.”** Kiyotaka flapped his hands, trying to refresh himself.

**“Y-Ya mean this?”** , Mondo’s index finger motioned at the jacket he’s wearing. **“I-I swear it a-ain’t a big deal. Don’t ya have other things to prioritize? I-I can study and work on my own, y’know?”** , he lied.

**“………”** _You’re really going to act dismissive about it again, hmm? You really leave me no choice, Bro. I have to do this._

Mondo grabbed the doorknob handle to close the door, but it wouldn’t lock. _Wait, what the hell!?_

It took him a second to realize that Kiyotaka extended his foot to block the doorway in an attempt to gain access. Even if he was completely uninvited, he had to prevent him from hiding all of this any longer. The hall monitor’s eyebrows furrowed and he started giving him a worried but sterner glare this time.

**“Mondo…, can we talk, please?”**

Oh! Did you hear that? It’s that 5-word sentence Mondo really was NOT looking forward to hear. _I- I-I… T-The fuck? No, no, you can’t be doing this shit to me!_

**“W-Wait…! About what? H-Homework!?”** , he yelled from the sudden panic. He could immediately feel his heartrate go higher.

**“Not now, Mondo. Though I would love to finish my homework with you, I am certain that you’re definitely hiding something from me right now.”** Kiyotaka walked up to him, their faces almost touching. Mondo abruptly goes beet-red.

**“I need to know the truth. Did you get into another fight, Bro? Were you lying to me yesterday?”**

Mondo does not like where this conversation was going. Deep inside, he felt like he was being pushed over the edge. The suffocating amount of pressure he had to put up this facade for years made him feel worse. It made him feel weak.

**“I-I *AM* telling the truth, Taka. I didn’t get into any fights! What other answers do ya need to fuckin’ hear!?”** Mondo screamed in annoyance, thinking the other still might doubt him.

Kiyotaka crossed his arms. **“Okay, then explain the purple marks on your face *and* your arms.”**

**“WH-…!?”** Mondo swallowed a lump stuck in his throat and profusely started sweating.

_Goddammit! What if I just ignore him……? Maybe that’ll work…?_ His eyes shifted sideways and he had gone silent.

_KIYOTAKA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? You’re supposed to be comforting him, not intimidating him! Loosen up just this once, for his sake…_ Kiyotaka stayed quiet for about 3 minutes, waiting for a response from the taller man. Sadly, he didn’t speak so he decided to instigate, again.

**“Mondo…? Hey, remember when we had our first stamina contest at the sauna? When I said that I wanted to confide in someone, I wanted that _someone_ to confide in me too.” **His face softened, rubbing the gang leader’s shoulders with both hands. His face was heating up as he started to feel warm tears in the corners of his eyes, they were about to come out at any moment.

**“W-Why? Why do ya care so much?”** Mondo clenched his fists, now staring at the floor.

He couldn’t stand having to see Kiyotaka get all frantic just because of his petty problems and insecurities. That would simply add more to the heavy weight he was carrying right now.

**“I-Is it cuz… ya think I’m weak?”** The shorter man could clearly see the other gritting his teeth, able to sense his uneasiness from repressing his emotions.

**“W-What!?”** , Kiyotaka exclaimed. **“Of course not. That’s preposterous, Bro! I would NEVER call you something so derogatory. Especially when you’re being like this to me...”**

**“Tch. Ya don’t u-understand…"** Mondo choked out a soft sob. **"I- I-I don’t deserve ya Taka……”** Mondo’s voice started to get shaky; his breath, hitched as if tears were going to come out of his eyes as well.

**“H-huh? What do you mean, Bro?”** Kiyotaka gripped onto Mondo’s right hand tightly without knowing it was also bruised.

**“Gh-!!”** Mondo flinched away from the other, wincing in pain.

**“Oh! I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you I was just-**

**“………………………”**

Kiyotaka had shut himself up, seeing that Mondo had gone completely quiet again, staring at the floor once more.

_It’s probably about time I give him a hug. I’m sure he really needs one right now._ The hall monitor opened his arms, gesturing towards the gang leader but unfortunately, he saw the other naturally take a few steps backwards. He stopped and continued looking at the soundless Mondo.

The silence lasted for quite a while, but it was again broken by none other than Kiyotaka, himself.

**“M-Mondo……… please………… I-I……”** Kiyotaka could feel the dampness in his eyes begin to drip.

He just wanted to wrap him in his arms so badly, and tell him that it was okay to show his true emotions...

That he wasn't a liability for being vulnerable around him...

His patience slowly grew thinner as he had no idea if he was doing the right thing. He also got curious as to what the bruises on his arms looked like. So, he tugged on Mondo’s jacket and gradually began to roll up its sleeves, unaware that “that” triggered something in him.

My golly, Taka. You messed up..., big time...

**“H-H-HEY! CUT THAT OUT, DAMMIT!”** Mondo snapped, pushing Kiyotaka away from him. It was a good thing he fell on the bed and not the floor.

**“What the hell makes ya think ya can invade m’ privacy like that, HUH!?"**

**“……………M-Mondo…I- s-s-sorry…”**

Kiyotaka stuttered, unable to form the words he wanted to tell the other, too shocked to visually process what he was witnessing, too shocked to even realize his stomach was twisting. This sight was nothing new to him, he remembered back in the earlier times when they would piss off their classmates due to their constant bickering. But now that they’re best bros, seeing Mondo act like this to him hurts different.

**“DON’T YA HAVE BOUNDARIES AT ALL!? How ‘boutcha fuckin’ learn how to NOT be an asshole and give some GODDAMN PERSONAL SPACE!”**

**“B-Bro… p-please……”** Kiyotaka paused as he whimpered. **“W-why…? W-W-What do you mean… ‘you don’t d-deserve me’…?”**

**“………………………Y-Ya ain’t deservin’ of a dirty brother-killin’ shit stain………… like me…………”**

**“A-Are you talking about your older brother…? Daiya Oowada……?”**

Kiyotaka inched a few centimeters closer to Mondo and gently placed a hand on the gang leader’s arm, trying to calm him down. Only for Mondo to angrily pull away, avoiding any physical contact with the hall monitor. That was his breaking point.

**“……………S-S-SHUT THE FUCK UP!! L-LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”**

A few voice cracks came out of Mondo’s final cry before he stormed into his bathroom. He didn’t even mean to yell at him like that.

Mondo slammed the door shut; the loud bang echoed throughout the room. It’s a good thing that Hope’s Peak Academy’s dorm rooms become soundproof when locked. That way, nobody was bothered by Mondo’s sudden outburst. Meanwhile, Kiyotaka just stared blankly at ‘who knows what?’. All of this was too sudden for him that he couldn’t even make a sincere reaction.

_Look what you’ve done…………You are an absolute IDIOT! What made you think you can simply go out there and help him by doing, THIS!? It’s ALL YOUR FAULT! Mondo’s right, he doesn’t deserve to have a friend like you… It’s all because of that silly social ineptitude and that silly title you hold…_ Kiyotaka mentally screamed as his dark and intrusive thoughts continued to plague his mind…

He eventually got grounded back into reality and decided to leave. But before doing that, he walked a few slow steps to get closer to the locked bathroom and slurred, **“H-hey… M-Mondo…, I-I gotta leave now, o-okay…?”** Kiyotaka greeted him goodbye before brisk walking to his own dorm room, teary-eyed.

Mondo couldn’t breathe after the blind rage he just had. He was panting rapidly while ruffling his hair, causing his usual yankee-style pompadour to look messy. _Y-Ya fuckin’ coward……… YA FUCKIN’ DUMBASS COWARD!! What the hell were you thinking!? For you to lash out on your Bro like that, you’ve gone a little too far there…_

Mondo stared at mirror seeing how broken and _weak_ he looked. _Tch. You’re so fucking weak! Taka doesn’t deserve you... He’s better off with someone else like Leon or Hiro… Not you._

**“You’re alone now…… So ya gotta stay strong……”** He began muttering to himself.

“ **That’s right… yer strong…………"**

**"I’m strong… I’m strong… I’m strong. I’m strong. I’m strong. I’m strong. I’m strong. I’M STRONG. I’M STRONG. I’M STRONGER THAN YOU, AND STRONGER THAN DAIYAAA!!!”** He screamed at his inner demons, punching the bathroom wall multiple times, desperately trying to rid the numbness from his aching body.

Once both of Mondo’s hands became sore, he took off all his clothes, now completely naked. He opened the shower, sat in a dark corner and curled himself up into a ball, letting the freezing cold water send little shocks to his nerves. The gang leader buried his face onto his knees and cried, drenched in the pool of sadness he created for himself.

Mondo had always preferred to sob in the shower. As cliché as that sounds, it was only easier for him to release those bottled-up emotions that way. Dwelling back on his regrets, he had always been aware that whatever he did was wrong and he rightfully accepts the bitter consequences of his actions.

Mondo was alone… and always will be…

He was the real reason his older brother died and clearly…, he never deserved another one…


	5. We go separate ways...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyotaka had gone out to eat lunch alone despite looking dead on the outside. He happened to pass by Aoi, Sakura, Peko, and Fuyuhiko. Who knew those four were actually having a double date?

It was now 12 PM, the time they were supposed to be having lunch. Kiyotaka would always go on lunch dates with Mondo but right now, he had zero appetite. He was facing the ceiling for a very long time, conveying little to no emotion. His face was also puffy and red from crying.

Mondo just got out of the shower, not wanting to get out of his room at the moment. He wouldn’t want others to judge him for looking so _weak_. He took a new set of clothes from his cabinet, placing the dirty ones, soaked in sweat inside his laundry basket.

He then grabbed a pack of instant ramen noodles and switched on his portable stove. Perhaps eating could help by lessening the pain.

Apparently, it doesn’t work for him. He was tempted to go back to bed.

_Dammit, I can’t just sleep during the day. My body clock’s already wack as shit, I can’t make it worse…_ After he ate his meal, he placed his jacket aside and simply laid down, at least he could still try to relax.

Kiyotaka on the other hand, had gone out to eat lunch alone despite looking dead on the outside. He happened to pass by Aoi, Sakura, Peko, and Fuyuhiko. Who knew those four were actually having a double date?

**“Hey, Taka! Bring your Bro over and come join us.”** Fuyuhiko called him but he didn’t respond.

**“Young Master, I doubt he’s in the mood for chit-chat,”** Peko replied.

**“He also looks rather gloomy, don’t you think?”** She could somehow tell whenever he was feeling down. They usually did Kendo training and sparring together, so that’s how they got along.

**“Hey Taka, you okay? Come sit with us.”** Aoi offered, but Kiyotaka lied by telling her he was too busy with schoolwork when in actuality, he was almost done.

He went to a nearby counter and walked his way back to where he came from. Aoi saw Kiyotaka walk past them again holding only an apple and a bottle of water.

She got curious why he brought such a small amount of food with him then asked, **“Taka…, is that all you’re having? Are you sure you’re not hungry or anything?”**

**“……N-No…? I’m not… that hungry. Why did you ask?”**

**“Well…, it’s because… you never skip meals…”**

**“Oh no, no. I just ate a light snack while finishing some assignments,”** he lied.

**“But…, I doubt you’re the type to eat snacks minutes before lunch… Just don’t burn yourself out too much, okay?”**

Sakura butted in on the conversation, **“Taka, I understand how tight your schedule may be. But if you eat only that, you’d be missing out on the nutrients, which could hinder you from working more efficiently.”**

Kiyotaka put on a fake smile and awkwardly replied, **“Ahaha… you guys don’t need to worry for me. I’m sure that with my determination, I can handle just about anything.”**

The hall monitor gave the four a thumbs-up, telling them he was a-okay. **“Anyway, I got to go get back to work. See you all later!”**

Kiyotaka gently closed the door as soon as he got to his room, placing the bottle of water by his nightstand. He sat down on his bed and took a bite out of the apple was holding.

He sighed. _Now that that’s over, I hope no one barges into my room… especially Mondo. No…, I’m sure he wouldn’t. Since… I’m the problem here, after all……_

Kiyotaka had always been the type to hold himself accountable for anything he would lay even the tip of his finger on. He would obviously blame himself, even in a situation he’d have no control over.

About a few minutes passed, he set the apple aside, too lazy to eat the whole thing and slowly drank from the water bottle. Obviously, he was still very hungry but, not like he cared about that… Moments later, Kiyotaka laid down in a fetal position and began crying again, muttering to himself.

**“Nggh…… B-Bro… I-I’m sorry… I couldn’t help you…… T-This is all… my fault,”** he shifts back to self-blame.

**“Just w-what kind of _friend_ am I…!? I-If only we knew each other longer… t-then…”**

• • •

It was now 6:30 PM. Most of Kiyotaka’s sobbing gradually died down but still…, he kept getting swallowed by all those self-deprecating thoughts. The constant hunger pangs just added more to the pain but, he kind of wanted that sort of pain too.

Mondo just got out his dorm room, wearing his jacket. He’s planning to knock on Kiyotaka’s dorm room door. He wanted to apologize for how rash he acted hours ago. He felt terrible for letting his anger and frustrations out on his best friend… He was somewhat thinking about ending their fast friendship there and then in fear of making horrible matters worse which could hurt him even more. _I’m sorry, Taka. I know that ending this could sound real overwhelming…, but it’s for the best…_

Kiyotaka had been whimpering and murmuring to himself for hours. He wasn’t so sure how long since, he had completely lost track of time. _How irresponsible, that is something very unlikely of you, Ultimate Moral Compass…_ Then suddenly, he heard a knock on the door but decided to ignore it. Jeez Taka, you would never…

He heard another streak of multiple knocks but this time, whoever was on the other side started knocking more forcefully (but not angrily). It’s as if they really wanted to get in to just check on him.

_Gosh! This is an infringement to my right of privacy… Well to be fair, you were definitely ignoring them._ He heard the sound of his door opening, then a bit of subtle creaking. After that, he heard the faint sound of footsteps kicking in… _Those footsteps… They sound familiar…_

Mondo was now inside the hall monitor’s room. Everything looked surprisingly pristine and organized. He glanced over to check on the other, only for him to hear quiet and muffled sobs. He also saw an apple and an empty bottle on his nightstand. _What the fuck? Had he been starving himself… all because of me!?_ The feeling of guilt immediately stabbed him right in the guts.

He called for his name, not really expecting a response from the other. 

**“T-Taka…?”**


	6. Let your confidant console you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two of them remained silent for about 10 minutes as the hall monitor laid his head against the gang leader’s left shoulder, stroking the smooth fabric of the other’s jacket. He then called the gang leader, catching his attention.
> 
> “Mondo… hey…” He gave the taller man a more sympathetic look, but the other wouldn’t even meet eyes with him. 
> 
> “What’s bothering you, Bro…? P-Please… *sniff* Tell me…”

From the shock and panic of not knowing precisely who it was, Kiyotaka jolted up, wiping away the dry tears that blurred his vision. _Wait, it’s just…… Mondo!?_

But this Mondo he saw looked different. His hair was down, all messy and out of its usual style. He’s also got massive bags under his eyes, even tears mixed with a bit of eyeliner smeared all over his cheeks.

Kiyotaka got up and rushed towards Mondo, cupping the other’s face within his hands.

**“M-Mondo, I’m so sorry I- I was not able to-**

Mondo cuts him off, letting out a lifeless whisper. **“No, I’m the one who should be sorry…”**

**“What…? Bro, what are you sorry for? I was worried!”**

The hall monitor’s voice started to get shaky again. **“Mondo…… I-I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. It's all my fault! I-If only… If only I wasn’t so u-useless then-**

**“It’s *my* fault, not yours, a’ight?”** Mondo gently put Kiyotaka’s hands away from his face.

_His voice sounds hoarse and croaky. Had he been crying too?_ **“Why not…? You know you can always open up to me……… I’m supposed to be helping you but…, look what I’ve done-**

**“Nah Bro, look at what I’VE done!”**

**“H-huh…?”** Kiyotaka was slightly taken aback by the sudden interruption.

**“I yelled at’cha and pushed ya away from me, Bro… And now look who’s worryin’ so much? I’ll jus’ end up hurtin’ ya more, Taka. ‘Should be me who’s sorry…”**

He may have been a bit thrown off by Mondo’s statement. _Mondo…, will just end up hurting me more? I don’t understand how that could happen since we’re best friends now, but even so I…_

**“………I forgive you, Mondo… I always would…”** , he patted his shoulder. His face, no longer locked into a tense glare.

**“Wh- Jus’ like that…? No Taka, ya don’t understand…”**

**“Why not, Bro?”**

**“………Isn’t it obvious? I-I’m a terrible person…”**

Kiyotaka sighed, **“Look… I understand that you’ve done plenty of misdeeds in the past. But, you’re a very kind man deep down, making gradual changes to improve yourself.”**

**“H-How do *you* know that…?”**

**“I just do… Besides, I can tell because of your fear and anxiety of possibly hurting me in the future. Mondo…, you… you have a really kind heart… and you don’t even realize that.”**

**“’M just scared, Taka. I don’t want ya to end up hatin’ me.”**

**“Mondo…… I would never hate you. Even after all the bad things you’ve done.”**

**“……………”**

Kiyotaka gently pulled Mondo closer, making him sit on the edge of the bed next to him. The two of them remained silent for about 10 minutes as the hall monitor laid his head against the gang leader’s left shoulder, stroking the smooth fabric of the other’s jacket. He then called the gang leader, catching his attention.

**“Mondo… Hey…”** He gave the taller man a more sympathetic look, but the other wouldn’t even meet eyes with him.

**“What’s bothering you, Bro…? P-Please… Tell me…”**

As you’d expect, Kiyotaka had more tears in the corners of his eyes.

**“I- I can’t……”** Mondo began to choke up. _You son of a bitch… You can’t cry here!_

**“Y-Ya ain’t deservin’ of someone so weak…, like me… I-I’ll jus’ make yer life even harder, Bro. Don’tcha get it!? I-I’ll jus’ start causin’ ya more pain if I tell ya…”** his voice cracked, and so did his mask covering his repressed feelings.

Mondo slowly stood up, not knowing exactly why, but his body moved accordingly like it was on Autopilot mode.

**“I-I’m sorry but uhh… I g-gotta go.”**

_What…!?_ This caused Kiyotaka to freak out internally. _Oh, heck no! We’re not going through this again, are we!?_

**“M-Mondo, no… Please…”**

By chance, he was able to get a grip of the gang leader’s jacket. But Mondo hastily pulled and walked away as he gradually got closer to the doorknob, reaching for the handle.

**“S-Sorry Taka… it's for the best…”**

**“Wh- Hey…! M- Mondo…**

Kiyotaka was on the brink of yelling and bursting into tears… But he knew something else was welling up, not just his urge to cry. Something else was boiling deep down within his veins.

His irritability. 

Obviously, he was pissed at himself but Mondo’s constant rejections were what really aggravated him, only because it made him worry all too much. He decided that now’s an appropriate time to blow a gasket. He shouted furiously, not caring if anyone outdoors overheard him.

**“MONDOOO OOWADAAA!!!”**

Mondo froze, becoming stiff as a statue. _Was I just called by my full name?_

After hearing the hall monitor call in that manner, he knew he had to let go of the doorknob. Kiyotaka ran up to the other, forcefully grabbing the gang leader by his shoulders to turn him around so he could face him. Sometimes, Mondo would tend to forget how strong Kiyotaka actually is. Kiyotaka shook him violently while screaming.

**“WHY!?!? WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING!? WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG, MONDO!? WHY!? PLEASE, MAKE ME UNDERSTAND!!!”**

Then came a brief moment of silence before he continued, stuttering angrily. **“Nggh… gh… D-Do you not _trust_ me, Bro?”**

Kiyotaka stared into the taller man’s lilac eyes before breaking down into loud sobs uttered with rage. He clung onto Mondo like a koala as he cried onto his torso, nails digging into the back of his jacket for dear life, as if letting go would cause the other to leave.

Mondo barely showed any reaction, he was just SO DONE with everything and it mentally drained him. Though in his mind, he was cringing. Not because of the fact that his tank top was soaked with the shorter man’s tears, it was the sound of Kiyotaka’s crying that made him so uncomfortable. He hated seeing other people cry, especially his Bro.

Mondo was not really the best at consoling other people but all he did was return the hug, gently rubbing the back of his head. _Maybe this should calm him down…_ It took Kiyotaka merely 5 minutes for his loud, angry sobbing to turn into soft, stifled whimpering.

Mondo took a deep breath and said, **“Hey… Bro, you feelin’ any better?”**

Kiyotaka lets go of Mondo, he finally calmed down. **“B-But Bro, that’s my line.”**

**“I- Sorry, my bad…”** Mondo rubs his nape awkwardly in embarrassment.

**“Please, Mondo… Was I making you uncomfortable or something?”**

**“W-What do ya mean…?”**

**“Mondo, are you afraid of telling me because… I’m the Ultimate Moral Compass?”**

**“’The hell? Are ya some sorta mind reader?”**

**“No, just a thought. Which reminds me, you mentioned something earlier about being a _‘dirty brother-killing shit stain’_ right? Did you REALLY mean, you killed your older brother? I hope you’re not saying that in a literal sense but even so…, I have no idea what kind of conflict you two possibly had… I mean, you said you looked up to him, right?”**

The questions just kept going and going which left Mondo feeling cornered, facepalming himself mentally. _HOLY SHIT! Did I just slip up hours ago!?_ He couldn’t pick which one to answer first, let alone process the thoughts he wanted to vent out to the other.

**“I- I-I uh… S-Shit, no- Wait I…”** He panted loudly, raising his voice without control. He was having another anxiety attack.

Kiyotaka firmly held Mondo whose muscles tightened then looked at him directly in the eyes. **“Hey, just calm down... Breathe with me, okay? In…… and out…… In…… and out……”**

In……

And out……

In……

And out……

In……

And out……

**“Mondo, I’m not going to yell at you. But I won’t leave you alone unless you tell me. So please…”** Kiyotaka's tone sounded uncharacteristically soft, but the other could feel the shorter man's desperation.

**“J-Just why…? Why do ya even care? I’m a monster, Taka… I’ll jus’ get ya in the way.”** Mondo's voice quickly got jittery again.

**“I-It’s just, you’re so fuckin’ perfect, Bro. You’re a hall monitor whose all ‘bout rules and hard work, you’ve been a top-honor student all your life, ya got real big dreams: wanting to become prime minister and all that over-the-top stuff so ya could redeem your family name. A-and what the fuck am I…!? ‘M just a filthy delinquent w-with uncontrollable anger issues, and a lack of patience. Hell, I could barely get a ‘C’ without your help! W-Whenever I mess up, I would always run away from my problems like a fuckin’ coward… and I always end up hurtin’ and betrayin’ everyone I love. So don’tcha get it? I lost Chuck, then I lost Daiya, the only person I was able to call family, a-and I’m fuckin’ scared… that I might end up losin’ ya too ‘cuz I’m so damn weak… a-and… and-**

**“-and that’s exactly why I’m here for you, Mondo.”** Kiyotaka interjected, wiping off the gang leader’s newly-formed tears before rubbing his soft hands against the calloused texture of Mondo’s beautifully sculpted face.

He sighed deeply. All he could do for now was stop him from rambling on about his deep-rooted insecurities revolving around toxic masculinity. But still, he hoped the taller man would believe in him, and that he didn't care whenever he was mad or upset. Those were his raw emotions and he was more okay with them being expressed fully than having them shunned to a corner. He hoped that the other would know that he understands matters such as these need time to run their course.

**“Taka…?”**

**“Mondo, you are my first friend, my soul mate, my blood brother. And I… I can’t bear the burden of seeing you hurt all alone like this. You tend to mess up because you’re not perfect and that’s okay, neither am I… It’s because of our imperfections that make us human, not weak…"**

**"Mondo, you are way stronger and way better than any genius I wish to surpass. And, I’m able to persevere almost anything because I know that I have someone like you by my side. That’s what friends and lovers are for, right? They’re there to provide a shoulder you could always lean on, especially whenever you’re at your lowest of lows.”**

Mondo was speechless. Usually, he would hear compliments or words of encouragement like ‘Mondo, how nice of you.' or ‘Mondo, you’ve worked so hard, I believe you can do it!’, but not this. He almost had this urge to cover his ears and ignore what the other had just said. He thinks he doesn’t deserve to hear such kind words.

**“Taka… I… I’m s-sorry…… I just…”** He started choking up again.

Kiyotaka wished he could see Mondo cry more often since it’s only natural, and it was second nature to him. He wanted him to feel safe and comfortable around him without holding back any emotions whatsoever.

**“What are you trying to suppress, Bro? It never makes you less of a man to cry. Just let it all out when you need to.”**

Mondo would silently shed a few tears and Kiyotaka would be there to wipe them off for him. He gently rubbed his thumb against the taller man's knuckles.

**“Mondo…, I’ve told you my secrets. Will you please… tell me yours…?”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy oh boy, a mfing cliffhanger sdfhsdjkgh
> 
> This isn't the end of the story just yet.


	7. An unexpected dinner date amongst four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of them were eating their Bento peacefully, then Chihiro and Leon walked in. 
> 
> “Hello Mondo, hello Taka! Mind if we sit and eat here with you guys?” Chihiro asked. 
> 
> “Sure thing, go right ahead,” Mondo responded. 
> 
> “Heheh… You two seem oddly quiet tonight. Usually, I’d see you both laughing and dominating the dining hall as you both show off your ‘manly bond’,” Leon playfully teased. 
> 
> “Forgot about it, Leon. We just… had a little private talk is all,” Kiyotaka shrugged it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a short interlude before the angsty part... >:)

Mondo felt something vibrate in his pocket. It was his phone. He checked for any notifications. An alarm/reminder was the first thing that popped up as soon as he turned it on.

**“Oh…, look at the time, Bro. It’s 7:30 PM! We should go eat dinner first.”**

Kiyotaka set that alarm for both of them as a reminder so they could eat together every day at a proper schedule. But right now, he discarded the suggestion, which confused Mondo because matters like this would only happen once in a blue moon.

**“That can wait… You still haven’t told me anything about your secret ye-** But Mondo cut him off.

**“No. Ya gotta eat, Taka.”**

**“You’ve been starvin’ yourself for hours now. I could tell ‘cuz of that empty bottle and apple by yer nightstand. See?”** , he pointed out. He had gone from sounding vulnerable to blunt in an instant.

**“O-Oh…, well y-you are… right about that…”** Kiyotaka sheepishly looked away. _Jeez! How embarrassing… I literally forgot I even brought that now-browned apple and plastic bottle with me._

**“But… you still have to tell me after we finish dinner, okay?”**

**“…Yeah. I will…”**

**“……”**

**“Now let’s get going, Taka ‘cuz I know you’re hungry.”**

And so, the two fixed their looks to appear more presentable outdoors before walking to the cafeteria to eat dinner together. Mondo did his hair into a ponytail, which Kiyotaka said really suited him. 

Both of them were eating their Bento peacefully, then Chihiro and Leon walked in.

**“Hello Mondo, hello Taka! Mind if we sit and eat here with you guys?”** Chihiro asked.

**“Sure thing, go right ahead,”** Mondo responded.

**“Heheh… You two seem oddly quiet tonight. Usually, I’d see you both laughing and dominating the dining hall as you both show off your _‘manly bond’_ ,” **Leon playfully teased.

**“Forgot about it, Leon. We just… had a little private talk is all,”** Kiyotaka shrugged it off.

**“Damn…, well my bad for laughing. Wasn’t expecting this to get so serious all of a sudden…”**

**“Did something happen between the two of you? I heard screaming a while ago,”** Chihiro asked.

Kiyotaka froze, trying to think of a good cover-up story. **“O-Oh, We… uhh-**

**“So ya did hear ‘im… Yeah, we got into a lil’ fight. But we’re good now. We just talked about some personal shit, secrets and all that,”** Mondo answered.

**“Mondo, you haven’t told me yet. I only consoled you because you had a panic attack and started crying,”** Kiyotaka chuckled lightly.

**“……!!!”** , Mondo’s eyes widened.

**“Woah, really!? I mean, I’m not making fun of ya but I wasn’t expecting ya to y’know, shed tears…”** Leon exclaimed.

**“Shut up! That shit’s embarrassing……”** Mondo looked downwards trying to hide his face.

**“Don’t worry about it. Crying is definitely not something to be ashamed of. We are your closest friends, after all,”** Chihiro tried to cheer him up.

**“Hmph… I guess you’re right. Still try’na learn how to confront my emotions though but uhh… thanks, man.”**

The four of them awkwardly ate their Bento together in silence. At least they were keeping each other company. As Chihiro and Leon both finished eating their meals, they decided it would be best for them to leave the two alone so they could have their serious conversation in private.

**“Anyway…, I think it’d be much better if me and Chihiro leave you two be for now,”** Leon said.

**“Hmm? Why is that?”** Kiyotaka asked.

**“Well, we didn’t wanna hold both of you back from talking, and of course, we respect your personal space… Besides, I have other things to accomplish in my room so how about we all meet up again tomorrow when we’re free.”** Chihiro answered.

**“That seems like a great plan. See you both tomorrow then.”**

After noticing the two boys disappear, Mondo stood up.

**“Wait, Bro… Where are you going?”**

**“Gonna grab some more food we could snack on. Ya really munched down on your Bento way too fast, Bro. I could surely tell you’re still hungry… So, do ya want me to get ya more riceballs?”**

**“That sounds delightful, Mondo. Thank you.”**

Mondo placed the plate on the table and munched down on some rice balls together, though Kiyotaka technically ate most of it. He was just relieved to see the hall monitor’s appetite get back on track.

Kiyotaka appeared to be a bit calmer now than he was hours ago. But Mondo couldn’t feel the exact same way. He knows in the back of his head that it was still way too early for the night to end, and he still hasn’t told Kiyotaka anything about his secret yet.

It didn’t take too long for the hall monitor to finish and once he was all good to go, he called the gang leader and asked him, **“Hey Mondo…, now that I’m finished eating all these, I think it’d be best if we talk this out elsewhere. Many people are still around and I don’t want anyone eavesdropping on our conversation.”**

**“Hmm… We could go to my room. It’s a lot quieter there.”**

**“You’re right… Then, let’s start heading that way.”**

As soon as they started walking, Mondo thought HARD about how he was going to tell him everything. From the sequence of events, to how he’s supposed to act just in case Kiyotaka reacts a certain way. Even if he knew that the hall monitor cared for him deeply, he couldn’t help but worry that the other might regret hearing the truth, and leave him from that point on.

But still… he shushed his negative thoughts.

_No, Mondo. Stop overthinking! This is your soul brother you’re gonna confess to… You can trust him, got it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slow updates. Online school won't stop being an ass... /lh


	8. Confessing doesn't make you a coward.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the day Daiya passed the torch of leadership to him was the day he snapped. The doubts and whispers of the gang were too much. Yet he did his best to carry on throughout the ceremony with an unassuming grin. But behind the bright smile and attitude, the gang leader could feel his resentment at being in his brother’s shadow growing. Kiyotaka could sense the other’s breath hitch in irritation. 
> 
> “Just take your time, Mondo… I’m listening…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyo its been so long... im sorry i haven't updated much, online school is really running me over like a train on 2021 lmaoooo
> 
> btw this chapter is highly adapted from the fic "only togehter, we will survive" by bebecakes who is also here on ao3; even if its unfinished, i suggest you go read it if you haven't (i only inserted the confession part but tweaked it just a tad bit to make it match the story since this is a non-despair au lol)
> 
> also a lil trigger warning for: suicidal thoughts

Mondo and Kiyotaka were slowly getting closer to the dorm room and the hall monitor could tell the gang leader was getting a little tense. So, he offered his hand to the other, giving it a light squeeze and making sure not to press onto his hand too hard. Eventually they made it and Mondo locked the door. There was an awkward silence between them that lasted for quite a few minutes. And then for like the nth time, Kiyotaka made the first move.

**“Mondo… Will you please… tell me everything that happened between you and your older brother?”**

For a moment there was more silence, then the other slowly replied after taking a deep breath. **“…Y-Yeah. I’ll tell ya everything.”**

**“But, can we sit down on the bed? This story’s gonna be a long one.”**

**“Of course, Bro.”**

What Mondo *accidentally* said to Kiyotaka was indeed, 100% true. He definitely was a ‘dirty brother-killing shit stain’. But there had to be a bigger explanation than just that one statement alone, right? Judging from the demanding look in Kiyotaka’s crimson eyes, he knew with absolute certainty that there was…

And so, after knowing that he couldn’t back down now, he firmly decided to tell him everything from how it all began, making sure not to leave a single detail behind so the hall monitor could comprehend all that he had to reveal.

They both sat cross-legged on the bed as Mondo started off with describing the expectation of taking over the gang once Daiya decided to settle down, and move on from the Crazy Diamonds. Then, the story shifted to how the rest of the gang would whisper things behind his back, about whether or not *he* would be good enough to take over the gang.

He would hear things like, ‘Kid’s tough. But he’s not *Daiya* though. He’s just there for the ride.’, or other variations of how he couldn’t possibly replace the man that had built the gang up with his bare hands. He even overheard some guys trying to convince Daiya to stay with the gang for a few more years. Kiyotaka became more concerned when he noticed the gang leader’s voice got a little bit quieter, but he still continued talking. He understood how much the Crazy Diamonds meant to Mondo. They were his whole _life_ , and there was _no one_ better to lead than him!

On the day Daiya passed the torch of leadership to him was the day he snapped. The doubts and whispers of the gang were too much. Yet he did his best to carry on throughout the ceremony with an unassuming grin. But behind the bright smile and attitude, the gang leader could feel his resentment at being in his brother’s shadow growing. Kiyotaka could sense the other’s breath hitch in irritation.

**“Just take your time, Mondo… I’m listening…”**

He had been jealous of his brother for many things. His book smarts, his ability to talk to girls without scaring them off, his charisma that somehow created one of the largest biker gangs in the country. The more he thought about his brother’s strengths, the more it made himself feel weaker in comparison. Once the ceremony was over, the rest of the gang drove down to a popular bar they frequently visited to keep the party going. Daiya and Mondo were the last to leave.

And all it took was one more harmless tease from Daiya, that made Mondo throw Daiya’s jacket at his brother, and tell him to ‘get the fuck on his bike’.

Mondo challenged him to a race. Despite Daiya’s attempts to calm him down, to talk him out of it, he was too focused on proving he wasn’t weak. That, if he beat Daiya at the thing he was best at, he’d show everyone he was strong. He got on his bike without checking to see if Daiya was following.

Kiyotaka found himself becoming nauseous as the gang leader described the reckless, dangerous things he did in order to stay ahead of his brother. Ignoring red lights, weaving in and out between cars, and at one point even going off-road, dozens of miles past the speed limit as a shortcut. He mentioned how, even though Daiya wasn’t by any means a stickler for obeying traffic laws, he was screaming at him to slow down by the time his bike caught up with Mondo’s.

But he didn’t. Hearing his voice only made Mondo squeeze the throttle harder.

The way the gang leader’s tone grew quieter, alongside his dreadful expression, made Kiyotaka’s heart beat faster in anticipation of what happened next.

Back to the race, Mondo was barely keeping in front of Daiya as they both dodged through traffic. The goal was to make it to the bar where the rest of the gang was at, which was only a few minutes away at that point in the race.

Mondo was so close.

Consumed by adrenaline, blinded by his goal to prove the gang he was worthy to lead them. By beating Daiya, the shadow that had been over Mondo’s head his whole life would be cleared, by the time this race was over.

When that thought crossed his mind, it convinced Mondo to drive into the oncoming lane. It was faster, as traffic was steadily building up in the right one. From his view, it didn’t seem like there were any cars coming. Daiya followed, doing his best to stay in the right lane.

It was the homestretch. Mondo could see the bar’s neon sign in the distance, and the dozens of motorcycles parked outside. But before he could declare victory, he wanted to see his brother’s face. He wanted to see how he’d react, when his little brother finally beat him in something for the first time.

What he didn’t expect to see, was his brother mouthing something to him in desperation. The rushing winds were too loud to hear him. But the look of fear on Daiya’s face was enough for him to notice that he was pointing at something ahead of him.

After a few moments, Mondo's stomach dropped as he finally understood.

_Truck…!!!_

Quickly, Mondo whipped his head around to the front of the bike, only to be blinded by the blaring lights of an oncoming semi-trailer truck, rapidly getting closer with every millisecond. It was too late for him to get out of the way. By the time Mondo would’ve finished his next breath of air, he would’ve already collided with the front of the truck.

His last thought before he shut his eyes, was that it’d be quick and painless. Yet he felt something much smaller than the semi-trailer into his bike’s side, flinging him out of the truck’s way. Veering off the road until he crashed into some bushes on the side,

Mondo was left stupefied, injured, and out of breath. The sound of metal clashing violently together echoed through his ears. Cringing in pain, he looked back at the truck, and felt his entire world shatter.

Illuminated by the stopped semi-truck’s headlights, he saw Daiya.

The man who raised him, his only family, laying limp in the middle of the street like roadkill.

Mondo couldn’t get to his brother’s side fast enough. Stumbling, struggling to hold himself together long enough until he finally collapsed by Daiya’s side. There was so much blood pooling underneath him, which quickly spread until it was surrounding both of them. Ignoring how Daiya’s breaths were getting shallower, Mondo _begged_ him to get up, his tears mixing with the blood on his brother’s face.

Noticing that he paused, Kiyotaka looked up at Mondo with tears already beginning to trickle down the sides of his cheeks. He realized how the gang leader’s eyes were getting watery in the way he’d been accustomed to his entire life.

But he hadn’t seen Mondo cry like this, not for himself.

And it seemed that Mondo noticed as well. Him halting the story to regain his composure, clenching the fabric on his pants in a tight grip, his face furrowed in a way like he was trying to will the tears away with just enough concentration.

The hall monitor opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out of his throat. Kiyotaka found himself struggling to figure out how to respond in a situation like this. He pondered over what to say, slowly trying to piece together words of comfort in his mind, while watching Mondo angrily wipe his budding tears in frustration.

**“Mondo… It’s okay for you to cry about this… You’re not weak for being in touch with your true feelings.”**

Mondo just stiffly nodded and sniffed repeatedly as a response, trying to stifle some of his crying. But then, time seemed to freeze when he felt Kiyotaka gently wrap his hand around his own, getting an assuring feel from his pulse.

His gesture surprised the gang leader enough to forget about his battle against his own emotions. Affection was nothing new to him, whether it came from Daiya, the gang, or Kiyotaka, himself. But the delicate way Kiyotaka squeezed his palm summoned a strange feeling within him.

A cozy and warm sense of security, one that Mondo couldn’t get enough of. Looking back at it, he felt something like this in the sauna too. And thanks to that, it made Mondo feel like, just for a moment, he wasn’t weak, he wasn’t a coward. He was encouraged and he became determined enough to continue after a few minutes.

Describing Daiya’s last moments went as smoothly as it could have been. The acute sense of self-hatred and regret that had long since made themselves comfortable in Mondo’s mind, felt significantly duller. He felt strong, with how he managed to push through the entirety of the story all on his own.

And with one last, exhilarated breath, Mondo was done. He let go of Kiyotaka’s hand. He was unsure of what he was feeling now. But he refused to figure it out before knowing what Kiyotaka thinks of him now, after he listened to the truth.

The whole truth.

Looking at the other, he realized that Kiyotaka had been silently crying. Yet his face remained oddly still, simply letting his tears flow all the way down to his chin, with wide eyes as he registered his words.

**“Mondo……”** He began, though he trailed off just as quickly before noticing the gang leader was waiting for him to continue.

**“I- I’m sorry… you had to go through all of that.”**

But Mondo negated, **“Ya shouldn’t be.”**

**“W-Why not…?”**

**“Cuz- Cuz its all my goddamn fault he’s gone… And y’know what!? I deserve this! I deserve to wake up in cold sweat every night I think’ about ‘im! I deserve to feel like shit for my reckless stupidity!”** Mondo raised his voice at hall monitor ever so slightly.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted to scream at himself, for being so selfish, so resentful, so greedy, so-

**“And I- I deserve to believe that… I’m weak…… cuz that’s all I’ve been……”** His tone became quieter now and his voice audibly cracked at the last phrase. Kiyotaka opened his mouth but Mondo resumed to speak ahead of him. He started talking badly at himself some more, looking downcast at the wrinkled bedsheets.

**“S-Should’ve been better if it were *me* lying dead on that road.”**

Then the gang leader felt a pair of hands gently squeeze his shoulders before looking up to see the sympathetic expression plastered over the hall monitor’s intense eyes.

**“Mondo, please…… Please don’t say that,”** Kiyotaka cut him off. **“I’m so sorry… I didn’t know about this sooner. And please, don’t blame yourself, Bro. It was an accident. He did that because he wanted to save you,”** he continued.

**“……Even if ya put it like that, it ain’t changing the fact he’s not here anymore. Besides, I started this whole mess so the blame’s still on me…, for being such a fuckin’ coward,”** Mondo retaliates.

**“But, you’re *not* a coward…”**

**“…?”**

**“Because a coward is someone who always denies and runs away from the truth. Yet, you still had the courage to confess everything. You still owned up to your mistakes, admitting that you were wrong and I think that is enough to show how brave you are, Mondo.”**

**“N-No…, that’s not what I mean…”**

**“…Hmm?”**

**“Cuz… I’ve always been runnin’ away…… from the past, that is.”**

**“Ever since I entered here at Hope’s Peak, all I’ve been doin’ is runnin’ away from my problems. I knew that leading the entire gang wouldn’t be sum’n permanent, and that’s when I decided I wanted to be a carpenter so I can at least be sum’n when we get to College. I’m sure it ain’t the first time ya heard this from me. But even then, the survivability of the gang rests on my shoulders… I can’t just half-ass any of my responsibilities as the leader!”**

Then Mondo stayed silent for about half a minute before he could go further on about elaborating his depressing thoughts.

**“A-Also, what scares me is how fast rumors can spread around the Crazy Diamonds. Hell, what if there’s more to the whispers I kept on hearing after I lost Daiya and took his role!?”** He slowly started to panic, and judging from his shaky voice, Kiyotaka could tell the other was just about to shed more tears again.

**“M-Mondo…”** He tried to interrupt him but it didn’t work.

**“What if they know the truth and they’re just talkin’ behind my back or some shit, huh!? Do ya understand what I really mean…? Do ya really think… it’s gonna be that easy to just forget about it?”**

**“A-And l-look at who’s being such a damn crybaby about it,”** Mondo shakily said, pointing a finger at himself.

**“Bro…, that doesn’t make you a-** Kiyotaka attempted to interrupt him the second time. It was still no use. _Dammit, Mondo. Why won’t you just listen to me!?_

**“I’m too busy lying to everyone, wallowing in pity when I’m supposed to man up to ‘em and confront all my insecurities. And what the fuck’s even gonna happen if I reveal it all to ‘em?”**

**“If the gang disbands cuz of that, then I wouldn't be able to keep the promise I made with my brother… That would also mean that his sacrifice for me would be meaningless… Then all the efforts we both made to create the Crazy Diamonds would’ve been for nothin’……”** , he continued.

**“And if the same goes with all the memories we made together…, then I might just give up and… think about…… letting go……”** Mondo slouched, looking down with a hopelessly grim expression on his face.

Kiyotaka was at a loss for words. Just, how much had all this pent up, suffocating grief been eating Mondo up from the inside? He didn’t know how to respond. He never expected it to be so severe to a point where all the problems the other had were pushing him off the edge to make him think about ending his own life.

He wasn’t exactly sure if the words of comfort he thought would be an appropriate response, but it had to be said anyway. Those words he wanted to tell him did come from his heart. He took a couple of deep breaths before replying.

**“Mondo…, please don’t ever think about doing ‘that’… This isn’t what Daiya would want, not even you… You just think you don’t really have another choice, but you do, Bro… So please, let me help you.”**

**“I know I can’t promise to fix everything that’s been weighing you down but, I can lighten the load.”** Kiyotaka chuckled lightly, **“I know I say a lot of cheesy words… But, no amount of cheesy words is going to make you stop feeling like this.”**

**“I just want you to know that……, I’m here for you… and I’m not going anywhere. Just promise me you won’t go…… Believe it or not, people out there, care about you…, like me. Think about us, your friends, your gang members… Think about Daiya. You constantly tell yourself, that they hate you, that they’d be better off without you… But if you left, then they could never tell you how much they love you. Then they would feel as empty as you do right now.”**

**“Promise me you won’t do that…?”** Kiyotaka bowed his head down as he pled.

Once again, the room was quiet. He wasn’t really waiting for an answer from Mondo. All that mattered was that he heard what he needed to hear, and all that mattered was that he could get the gang leader to believe in him. Then, for what almost felt like a century, Mondo responded, raspingly as he lifted his head up.

**“I… actually wanna tell my gang the whole story but…, I dunno what to do if things don’t end well and we all start going our separate ways…”**

**“Listen to me, Mondo. I won’t say that everything’s going to be okay, because it might not be. But even if it isn’t, you don’t have to suffer your emotional turmoil all alone anymore. We’re in this together, now that I’m here.”**

“………”

_‘We’re in this together.’_

Those words. It sparked a good memory in Mondo. A good memory from a time when he felt loved, a time when he felt safe under the protection of Daiya. He remembered the day his mother left the house and never came back. After that happened, he remembered when it all resulted to his father resorting to alcohol.

He remembered all the verbal abuse and beatings he and his brother had to endure at that time. Then he remembered his brother’s words from the exact moment they decided to move out and go elsewhere.

**"Mondo. We’re in this together, a'ight? Me and you, kid. I promise, we're gonna be okay. No matter what, I won't let anyone lay a stinkin' finger on you,"** Daiya said proudly as ever as Mondo nodded.

Looking back at it now, those memories evoked a strange warmth in his heart. And it was enough to make Mondo smile. No, it wasn’t a sappy grin that showed his teeth, but it was genuine and soft. Enough to make Kiyotaka’s face soften too as he smiled back at him.

**“T- Taka…?”**

**“Yes, Bro?”**

**“I hope it isn’t too much but, can I uhh… can I- get a hug……? Please……?”**

**“Of course, you can. A hug is never too much to ask for… Come here.”**

Mondo scooted over a little closer before he felt Kiyotaka envelop him tightly in his arms. The hug was long, and passionate, which may have lasted for only a few minutes but right now, seconds felt like hours to them. They both closed their eyes, as they got enamored by each other’s inner warmth. 

Then Kiyotaka slowly let go of Mondo. **“So… How do you feel, Bro?”**

**“I dunno… But I guess I feel better than I did before.”**

The answer seemed to satisfy the hall monitor, as he didn’t really bother responding.

**“………”**

**“………”**

**“……Mondo?”**

**“Mmm’ Yeah…?”**

**“I’m just going to get something from my room, alright? I will be back momentarily, I promise.”**

Kiyotaka quickly stood up and Mondo didn’t even manage to ask him why or what he was going to get? And by the time he opened his mouth, Kiyotaka already shut the door as he left the dorm room.

_Wait…! Huh…? Why would he even go to his room now?_

_Taka, you’ll come back, right? RIGHT?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might need to proofread l8r bc im writing at 1am on a school night smh,,,
> 
> but hey, 3.2K words for an update seems pretty poggers eh?


	9. I don't pity you, I love you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mondo, I’m back,” Kiyotaka chirped.
> 
> Kiyotaka was carefully placing all the stuff he brought on top of Mondo’s empty study desk. But then, he heard soft sniffles close by and clearly, they had to be Mondo’s. The door was locked and *he* wasn’t crying. So, he slowly approached the taller man.
> 
> “Bro…?”
> 
> Mondo flinched when he felt a familiar, warm hand creep up onto his left shoulder.
> 
> “Hey… What’s wrong? Did something happen while I was away?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent updated in a while (due to lack of motivation) so hey yall! 
> 
> PLEASE,,, give me kudos and validation in the comments or i'll D I E .
> 
> im sorry the text and tags keep changing, its just me proofreading and editing lol

Kiyotaka marched his way to his dorm room. As soon as he opened the door, he shuddered from the sudden cold breeze that rushed past him. To be frank, his room was fairly spacious, mostly because he was one to make sure to keep it nice and tidy all the time. He breathed shakily when another chilling gust of wind flew by. _Perhaps it was the air conditioners?_ _Nah……_

Eyes scanning through his room, he found one of the window sills left open. Kiyotaka approached the open window and he may or may not have been distracted by the lovely view outside.

**“Wooowww………”**

That was all he could whisper out. He stared down at the street lights and all the vehicles moving around beneath him. His room was pretty high up, probably on the third floor, right next to Mondo’s. He could also see his house right from above, which isn’t too far from the campus. He eventually closed his eyes for a few seconds, taking in a deep breath. As soon as opened them again, he looked up at the sky. The stars were twinkling, or at least he thought so. Still, the night sky was undoubtedly clear as ever. The moving clouds somewhat added another layer to the alluring sight in front of him.

To be honest, would he lie about that? 

It was like a trance. A hypnotic trance.

**“Pretty……”,** Kiyotaka murmured.

Then… some thought from the back of his mind finally made him snap out of his daydream.

**“Wait… What was I supposed to do again…?”**

After a millisecond of realization, he facepalmed himself, massaging his temples.

**“Ughhh……”** , he groaned. _Why… do you always have to get distracted… and zone out… at the wrong time…?_

He let out an exasperated sigh, **“Okay then, I guess I should start packing the stuff I need…”**

He carefully closed the window before rummaging through multiple cabinets to find his first aid kit. He definitely made sure it had all the essentials, especially items that would be needed to remedy Mondo’s injuries, mostly his bruises to be specific.

After that was done, he opened his wardrobe to get a neatly folded, complete set of his uniform, just in case he might need to stay up late past curfew. Moving in and out between rooms past nighttime is strictly prohibited, so he decided to also grab the stuff he’d need to groom himself before bed.

Once again, he ensured all the stuff he was going to bring to the gang leader’s dorm room. **“First aid kit, check. School uniform, check. Toothbrush and toothpaste, check. Tissues, check. Facial wash, check.”**

**“Well, that seems to be everything. Time to get going… Mondo must definitely be waiting for me,”** he said to himself.

Speaking of Mondo, he obviously didn’t want to be alone right now. The tension in his nerves were becoming too much, as all of his racing thoughts and what-ifs were coming after him like arrows.

_What if he regrets hearing the truth?_

_What if he says he doesn’t have the time to be dealing with your problems?_

_What if he ghosts you and never talks to you again?_

_What if he-_

**“Shut up!”** , Mondo yelled in a whisper in the middle of his panic attack.

He couldn’t breathe thoroughly, and his rage caused him to throw his rubber hair band onto the floor. Tears dropped as he soon as he realized his frustrations were once again getting the best of him. Then suddenly, he heard a knock on his door. He didn’t actually bother answering but as it swung open, he saw Kiyotaka carrying a load of things he couldn’t quite distinguish.

**“Mondo, I’m back,”** Kiyotaka chirped.

Kiyotaka was carefully placing all the stuff he brought on top of Mondo’s empty study desk. But then, he heard soft sniffles close by and clearly, they had to be Mondo’s. The door was locked and *he* wasn’t crying. So, he slowly approached the taller man.

**“Bro…?”**

Mondo flinched when he felt a familiar, warm hand creep up onto his left shoulder.

**“Hey… What’s wrong? Did something happen while I was away?”**

**“…’S nothin’. I was just worried… you were gonna leave… and not come back.”**

**"………"**

**“Mondo… I would never abandon you,”** he cupped his face with his hands, showing a sad smile.

Then his hands moved down to grab his shoulders, **“Because, if I did that, I’d be betraying our friendship. No, I’d be betraying our strong brotherhood. I’d end up just like everyone else… who wronged you. And you know neither of us would want that, right?”**

**“……”**

**“Anyway, you look like a mess…”** Kiyotaka chuckled. **“Would you like me to… brush your hair? Perhaps that might help you calm down.”** Mondo just nodded as a reply since he honestly didn’t mind the personal attention.

**“But first, I’m gonna have to wipe the smudged mascara off your face. Would that be okay?”**

**“Yeah. Please…?”**

**“Alright then.”**

Kiyotaka grabbed a couple of cotton pads and dabbed it in lukewarm water. When he started rubbing the small fabric against Mondo’s face, it did make him feel a little bit at ease. Indeed, the gang leader felt more refreshed after having all that makeup he wore all day finally removed. Next thing Kiyotaka did, he grabbed a hair brush from the other’s grooming kit. His strokes were gentle since it turns out, his hair was a lot smoother than he thought, despite it being really wavy.

**“You look a lot prettier with your hair undone… Maybe it’s because it looks more natural on you,”** Kiyotaka’s voice, bubbly as he spoke.

**“…Thanks.”** Mondo replied, his face flushed.

The hall monitor attentively gazed at his attractive features, practically relishing this fleeting moment when he could just feel the softness of the other’s scalp. Once he was done, he set all the other stuff aside, savoring the moment of silence for him to properly gather his complicated thoughts. _Mondo, I know this favor might sound disheartening, especially after seeing you look so relaxed, but I *have* to do this… for you._ He took a deep inhale and an even deeper exhale.

**“Mondo… I want to apologize for the way I acted hours ago. I know I was being irrational, and I ended up doing something very stupid. This is going to sound really disheartening but, I want you to take off your jacket. Can you do that as a favor for me?”**

Mondo’s heartrate immediately quickened. _I knew it…… I fucking knew it! I guess I can’t back down like a damn chicken now, can I?_

**“Please……”** , Kiyotaka begged him again ever so softly.

**“I, uh… Okay…”** Mondo gave him his verbal consent, slowly looking away from the other.

When Mondo finally set his jacket aside, and only his white wifebeater remaining to cover his upper half, that was the moment Kiyotaka’s heart sank down to his stomach. He was dreading every bit of what was currently being shown to him. The bruises looked much worse than he expected, to an extent where the ones on his face looked very subtle and underwhelming in comparison to the dark blue and purple spots that spread from his shoulders, all the way to his fists. Judging from the state of incredulity and shock marked on his face, Mondo was pretty damn sure the other wasn’t liking the sight of him like this one bit.

For a few minutes, it was quiet. Both of their convoluted emotions were silently scrambling all over the place. One of them felt immense guilt, wondering what they could’ve done to prevent any of this from happening. While the other felt immense shame, embarrassed at the fact that the other had to witness them at such a sorry state of all times.

**“…………”**

**“…………”**

**“……Mondo. J-Just to be clear, you didn’t get any of those… from fights, right?”**

**“……N-No.”**

**“Then…, does that mean…? B-Bro… Did you- Did you… do all of this to yourself?”**

Kiyotaka started to snivel with the faintest voice. _Of course, he did, you idiot! What else among other conclusions would there be!? Why do you always have to ask everything? Why do you always have to make him uncomfortable?_

Mondo was left with no choice but to say, **“Yeah…”**

Naturally, Kiyotaka’s first instinct was to get a better glimpse of Mondo’s self-injuries. But right at the moment he grabbed and held the other’s wrists, Mondo flicked his arms away from Kiyotaka.

**“O-Oh! Does that part hurt? I didn’t mean to grab that hard…”**

**“…………”** , Mondo didn’t respond. _Yeah, that’s right! Give ‘im the silent treatment like ya always do to make him cry even harder. Ya goddamned son of a bitch…_

**“Bro. Please…… I- I’m sorry…”** Kiyotaka’s voice cracked at the last word, starting to whimper slightly even louder.

Mondo averted his gaze from the shorter man, turning away to stare at his palms. He then started getting this cringy feeling, again. It came from neither the pain in his tendons nor the numbness of his muscles but rather, it came from the soft stifled mewls that could be heard behind him. He could feel the exact way Kiyotaka’s heart shatters due to how much distress he was being put under.

Or even more precisely, due to how much distress Mondo was putting him under.

Kiyotaka continued, **“B-Bro… Can I at least see th-**

**“Don’t even look at me!”** , Mondo’s reaction was abrupt, enough to startle Kiyotaka.

**“Wh-What…? Why……?**

**“Oh, shut the fuck up! I already know I look fuckin’ disgusting, aight!? Ya don’t gotta say shit!”** , the gang leader blurted out angrily, as a way of combating his emotions.

The gang leader’s sass remarkably surprised Kiyotaka for a moment. _DISGUSTING!? What the heck makes you think I would say that!?_

**“Mondo, I would NEVER call you that!”** , the hall monitor exclaimed. Yelling was probably the stupidest reaction he could make right now, he thought.

Mondo groaned, **“I- I’m sorry, I just- I just don’t get it…”**

**“Everyone else has been so nice to me, especially you. Yet, I couldn’t even have the capacity to return the damn favor. And yer crying right now cuz of what? My problems? My fuck-ups? My weaknesses? Ya still give me so much, and all I give ya back is THIS!?”**

**“Bro…”**

**“I don’t understand… Why? Why needlessly give so much of a damn ‘bout someone who gives ya so much bullshit in return!?”**

Kiyotaka’s response was simple and straightforward, **“Because you’re the one who always keeps me going.”**

Mondo slowly turned his head around, only to see the stern, worried look on the other. His mouth slightly hung open since he didn’t expect to hear what Kiyotaka just said. He didn’t expect his response to come out that easily at all.

**“Mondo… I’ve always admired this ambitious side of yours. Hearing you long to become a better version of yourself, no matter how hard it may seem. To be honest, I… see myself a lot in you.**

**“But… I-I…”** , Mondo couldn’t talk. **“I’m just sayin’ that… It ain’t true…”** , he tried brushing off the compliment.

**“No, Mondo. I know you mean it,”** Kiyotaka grabbed both of his shoulders to give him reassurance but-

**“Shut up!”,** Mondo yelped from the sudden skin contact. **“I- I’m sorry…… D-Didn’t mean to yell at ya…”,** he stammered.

**“………”**

**“It’s… just that- I don’t have a choice. I feel like… I'm... empty… and broken… Maybe I’m maxed out… Who knows? It’s hard to breathe… My entire body feels numb…… and all I wanna do is scream, and laugh at myself for how fuckin’ pathetic I’ve become……”**

**“I fight all the numbness in the most messed up way ever, SEE!?”** , Mondo’s showed his bruises even more.

**“And ya can’t help but cry, blame yourself, and hold yourself responsible cuz I’m a lowly piece of shit who constantly fucks up, right? And like I said before, maybe I just came here… to run away. To run away from my fears… And maybe this is my punishment for everything wrong I’ve done up till now. Maybe I’m being punished for just doing whatever I felt like all my life…”**

**“So don’tcha think it’d be a lot easier…… if ya just go and leave…? I’d be okay with that.”**

**“……………”**

_Again, with the negative self-talk, huh?_ Kiyotaka was definitely having none of it. He had grown sick of hearing all the self-deprecating comments, all the excuses, and all the pleas for him to just be ignored and smothered by despair. Right now, all of Mondo’s pessimism irked him to the core.

**“So…”** Kiyotaka clasped Mondo’s shoulder, a bit more tightly than he intended. **“You still don’t believe in me?”**

**“I already told ya… I’m just-** But Mondo’s sentence was cut midway by a slighty, now-angry Taka.

**“Stop. Whatever you’re thinking, you don’t have to say it anymore. You’ve said it plenty of times, and I don’t need you to repeat yourself over and over again.”** Kiyotaka’s voice was sharp and blunt, and it all had to be so sudden.

Mondo’s studied the stern expression on the hall monitor’s face. He looked at his scrunched-up chin, then looked at the crease between his thick, bushy eyebrows. _Man, you are so fucked. Well, it’s not like you don’t deserve it. Of course, you do… You just pissed the hell out of the guy and now he’s just ultimately done with your shit._ Mondo was really starting to get on the hall monitor’s bad side…

Or was he?

Mondo stuttered, **“If yer tired… of me… Just g-**

**“NO.”**

Kiyotaka just raised his voice at him… And from what we all know; Mondo’s always had this habit of shouting uncontrollably whenever he freaked out or felt like panicking. Instead of feeling outright anger, he felt anxiety take over his veins.

**“Then why the fuck not!? Huh!?”** , Mondo yelled out of sheer panic.

**“Because I don’t want to!”** , Kiyotaka yelled back. If anyone was angry among the two, it had to be him. He firmly grasped a part of the gang leader’s loose tank top, only to receive another negative reaction from him.

**“S-Shut up! JUST FUCKING GO!!”** , Mondo begged, turning away and moving a few inches from him. In which, Kiyotaka happened to let go of the white fabric his hand was clinging onto.

**“Grrrrgghhhh-”** , the hall monitor growled in annoyance, noticing that he was losing his composure.

Mondo’s head faced downwards, shutting his eyes tightly, **“Just leave already…! Ya don’t hafta pity a fuckin’ burden like me anymore… Even if we have our similarities, we’re not always the sa-**

**“I don’t pity you, Mondo, I love you!”**

Kiyotaka paused at the realization, now fully aware of what he just blurted out. Mondo eyes widened, trying to process what happened. Both of them were trying to process what the fuck just happened. The silence, becoming more awkward the longer it lasted. But Kiyotaka already said what he said and there was no turning back.

He has to continue, somehow. Right…?

_Come on, Kiyotaka… Speak! Come on… Just say something!_

After taking one last, hitched breath, he opened his mouth. His words came out like an explosive burst, conveying an intense amount of passion with each word.

**“And I’m not here because I feel obligated to but it’s because I want to… and you wanna know why!? Do you know why I go out of way to worry about you!?”** , Kiyotaka turned Mondo around and clenched his fists onto his tank top.

**It’s because, you’re the first person to ever see me differently… All my life, I believed I was nothing but an eyesore. I believed for a very long time that there was something wrong with me…, that I wasn’t normal. Whenever I tried to talk to my peers, all they gave me were these stares of disgust and pity. It’s because of my family name that people always gave me the cold shoulder. They just think I’m another genius like my grandfather, they think I’m another unreliable Ishimaru who can commit to anything with no effort. They all think I’m a nuisance… I’m a freak… At the time, I hated everything about myself. I had to give up my social life for the sake of my studies, yet I believed all my efforts were pointless. I tried my hardest to be good. But still…, nothing.”**

**“I felt so lost, and thought I deserved to be lonely and shut myself from this cruel world… But then, I came to Hope’s Peak Academy… and that’s when I met you. You helped me change the way I used to see myself. And now, you’re the reason I always stand tall and hold my head up high.”**

Mondo tried to brush it off, again. **“But I-**

**“Mondo, you don’t have to belittle yourself. You shouldn’t always brush off all the positive things people tell you about yourself. You’re Mondo Oowada, leader of the biggest biker gang in Japan. I believe you’re a loyal and strong man, who is always willing to stand up for the people you care about. And if that’s not enough, I believe you’re a selfless man who does anything to keep his promises. That's why you're so desperate to keep your gang together, right? It's very telling of how compassionate and dedicated you are.”** Kiyotaka paused, letting his tears flow before he continued on.

**“Despite all your flaws, you are still deemed worthy of respect. And I know what you’re probably thinking… But you create this image of yourself in your head that you can do nothing good when in fact, it’s quite the complete opposite. Now that doesn’t mean that you’re perfect, because nobody is. But I’m sure you’ve done much more good things than bad.”**

And with that, Kiyotaka finished his speech.

At first, Mondo didn’t how to react. His hands were shaking rather intensely. Could it be from the cold weather…? Or perhaps his emotional mask starting to crack. Kiyotaka words were just so sappy… and knowing how authentic the other man was with his words, he couldn’t help but just… listen to him.

**“Uuuh… Uuunnnnhhh………”** , Mondo’s eyes began to water, his emotional mask also began to fall apart.

Kiyotaka’s long speech was overwhelming. Kiyotaka’s piercing gaze was overwhelming. Kiyotaka’s kind sentences were jabs to his heart.

And that’s when all that kindness finally broke him.

Mondo let out a few more light gasps and cries, his face slowly scrunching up. Before Kiyotaka could do anything, Mondo had already pulled Kiyotaka as close as he possibly could to his body to bury his face onto his shoulder. He bawled his eyes out, painfully and choked out like a fucking toddler, his hands clenching onto the back of the hall monitor’s uniform, non-verbally begging him to stay… and hold him.

**“Shh… Shhh… Hey… I’m right here… I’m not going anywhere… That’s it… Just let it allllll out. That’s it…… It’s okay…”** , Kiyotaka held him, and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, shushing and cooing the other like a loving parent. He was actually surprised since this is the first time, he’d seen him act *this* vulnerable.

The more Kiyotaka pressed himself closer, the more Mondo gasped and sobbed, his tears staining the other’s shoulders. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried that hard. He hadn’t cried genuinely in so long. It hurt…

Then, he started getting more flashbacks about Daiya… How can a memory feel so dull, yet so vivid at the same time? The gingerly way Kiyotaka rubbed soothing circles onto his back… It was certainly something he hadn’t felt in years. At least, not one since Daiya died.

Comfort.

Kiyotaka’s affection was so similar to Daiya’s, yet so dissimilar. With Mondo now looking more into it, he could definitely tell the difference… Whenever he felt down, Daiya was often the kind of guy to help him cheer up, whether it be by riding their motorbikes at the streets together, or perhaps going to the nearest vending machine to grab a cold drink as a little distraction from the negative thoughts.

But whatever the hell Kiyotaka was doing right now felt so new.

Him being told it was okay to cry, that he’s still strong regardless of how much emotion he gets out of his chest. Crying was one of those things Mondo did his best to avoid. But maybe, now’s the time. Now’s the time he learns how to be comfortable with having an open heart.

It was all thanks to this man, Kiyotaka Ishimaru. Whose posture he once considered absurdly rigid. Whose mannerisms he once thought were annoying. Whose prim and proper attitude he once called laughable. And whose uptight demeanor he once found ludicrous. Yet, he’s still the same man who was bound to teach him such a valuable life lesson. The same man who cared for him, when he couldn’t care for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imporant: For those who don't understand or couldn't picture what Mondo's bruises looked like, try thinking about Masaru's coping mechanism for his trauma. I'd like to think that he also tends to punch walls and break his fists (which appears/is mentioned in chapter 4).
> 
> Edit: The final chapter is probably gonna be done by April or at least around the upcoming month.


End file.
